Good evening, folks. “Your trusted reporter, Buzz Buzzby at your service. Today I am joined by my intern and trusted sidekick, Timothy Hasno Bottoms, and we are standing-incredible as it may seem-in the center of the Garden of Eden, directly under the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
We are here to try to cover an evolving story: rumors abound that Adam is cheating on Eve and is about to announce his liaison with…Wait! I see Adam now. He is approaching our position with something in his hands. Not sure what he is holding…let’s get a little closer…ah, I see it now. In his left hand a big juicy ripe Macintosh apple. In his right hand…not sure…it looks like a roll of duct tape. What the Heck is going on? Let’s get over to the man and get some quick answers on this one.”
Adam: ” Pray tell, what the heck are you two doing here? How did you get in?”
Buzz:” We heard a rumor about a breaking story involving you and Eve. We wanted to investigate those rumors, so here we are. And the way we got in, well, we just walked right in the front gate, right passed the guards. There were two doors to enter by. The first one had a sign above it saying in big letters SINNERS. The other sign said ” EVERYONE ELSE.” The line to get in under the first sign was huge. The other line was empty, so we just jumped over to the empty line, and here we are.”
Adam:” No kidding. I don’t think that is how it works. But, ok. Not sure about any rumors.
Buzz: “Well, Tim and I are reporters. Can we ask you some questions? Like, how and why are you even in the Garden? I thought God kicked you out. Permanent.”
Adam: “Yea, I thought he did too. I guess that was my own belief based upon my own conclusions after eating the Apple. Turns out, it was my own choice to leave. When I ate the apple, I told him that I wanted to live in a world where he wasn’t God, and I was. He said, “FINE” but guess what? Dad never said goodbye. Ever since I ate the apple, he has constantly been in my life, my every breath, my every thought, trying to have me come home. I guess he was trying to rescue me from the horrors of the world I created. His own son, Jesus, argued my case in front of him and famously said, “FORGIVE THEM FATHER, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO.” That was me-the guy who did not know what I did when I ate that stupid apple.”
Buzz: “So you argued your way back in? Tell our listeners how that works that you outfoxed God with your debate skills.”
Adam:” Huh? No. No way. I am not some dam Lawyer (BTW, he does not really like lawyers) arguing a case before some Judge (he does not like Judges at all). My brain is not near what his is and outsmarting him was not my plan. If it was, I deserve to be on the outside like before. That is stupid,” I ate the apple” thought. I am tired of being stupid.
No, I read the story of the “PRODIGAL SON.” It was Dad’s “how to get out of jail” card laid out right in front of me. I read it, took a shower, gathered up Eve and our kids, and marched strait to the front gate of Eden. I stood out there for three days constantly repeating what the prodigal son said to his dad when he returned from living with the pigs. I guess Dad got tired of listening to me so he opened the gate. He did not let me in though, but rather told me to stop repeating everything. He said I was irritating him. He said ” it’s not the words that matter. The prodigal son learned something while he slept with the pigs. What matters to me is whether you have learned what he learned.”
Buzz: “Well, did you? Tell us what happened next?”
Adam: “I reread the story. I then began to think. What have I learned in the last five thousand years?”
This is a question that is not hard to answer. What I learned is that I should never have eaten the apple. I have should never have chosen to leave God’s world and try to invent my own.
Why? let me explain:
When I asked to leave Gods world, I was not just asking to leave God, but all that he is. I was asking him to let me live in a world where his values, his truth, his love did not exist. And of course, in removing his “nature” from the world I wanted to live in, I needed to fill the void that was left with my own replacement parts.
Take his love. Dad’s nature is just pure love. Not the “love” referenced in a Hallmark card. Not the “do you love” love of a teenage girl. Not the love that says “What can you do to make me happy?” love. No, his love is the love that says “No greater love has a man but that he give up his life for his friends.” kind of love. Dad, by his very nature, cannot help himself but to pour out his love on me. He wants nothing but good and truth and beauty for me all the days of my life. He wants to nurture me, grow me, make me into the most wonderful, beautiful person I can ever be. And he wants to pour out this love on me thru all eternity.
When I told him to go away, to leave me to my own world, I guess I thought it would be really easy to replace that kind of love with a love of my own making.
Wrong!
What I got was truly horrible. I substituted his “love” with rape. Not just sexual rape. That would be bad enough. But rape in every fashion you can think of. Rape militarily. Rape spiritually. Rape financially.
You see, rape is me loving myself and imposing my will on you thru my superior strength, for my own pleasure and against your needs, wants, desires or pleas.
Look at what is happening as we speak-wealthy billionaires are bleeding every last cent out of the world population so that they can grow their 5 billion into ten, and their ten in to 50. Why? Rape. Pure and simple. If God’s love prevailed, the billionaires would do everything in their power to take care of those less fortunate. If the billionaires gave just half their billions to the poor, that alone could end world hunger But, they don’t. They take pleasure in their billions and in taking even more at their whim from the world. Rape. Pure and simple. It’s the world’s way of filling the void left behind by asking God to take his “love” out of our equation.
Look at what is happening to our youth. In a world filled with God’s love, they would be cherished. Nurtured. Protected against evil. In a world without Gods, love-three 9-year-olds are murdered so that a shooter, out of their own self-love can feel the pleasure of watching them die. Rape!
“Apple Textbooks” by Michal Jarmoluk/ CC0 1.0
Look what is happening to women. In God’s world, they are loved, honored, and respected. In a world lacking God’s love, they are called “birthing persons;” they are pressured into self-mutilation; they are condemned for bearing their own child.
Look at our military: they are given nearly a trillion dollars to protect us, but …
Buzz: “Wait, hold on, Adam… I see Eve coming. What happened to her? We heard that she and you were getting a divorce?”
Adam: “Divorce? No, well, maybe in my prior life. But that is just it-I used to love her as any Adam would. Now, I see her thru the eyes of my Dad. And I am loving her in Dad’s way.
I told Dad that what I learned while sleeping with the “pigs” was that I want to love as he does. And he knew I spoke the truth when I stopped treating Eve like an Adam woman and began loving her like the God woman she was always meant to be.”
Buzz: “Hello Eve. It is my privilege to be here with you. I am Buzz Buzzby, and this is Timmy Bottoms. We are just asking your husband all about why and how you all got back here to the Garden. Can you add anything to what your husband has told us? Like how you convinced your God to let you back in.”
Eve: “Well, I guess. I stood outside the front gate, and I simply raised my voice loud enough for him to hear. Some call it prayer. To me, I was simply telling him the truth of what was in me. I asked-I begged: “I don’t want to live anymore in a world without
God. That hip, slick, and cool dude named lucifer-with the thousand-dollar shoes and the fancy hair- was a dam liar. I had no idea that the world he said I would be god in was a world of genocide, pedophilia, murder, chaos, greed, violence, war, and hatred. I had no idea that everything that God created would be mocked, spit on, and ultimately by my own hand, destroyed. I had no idea that I would be enlisted in, causing the crazy gullible people to self-destruct.
I would rather be Eve in a God world, than a god in an Eve world.
I am done with evil; I am done with hatred. I just want to go home where I am free of all that horror.
And by the way, Dad said its ok if I change my name to Mary. She got it oh so right. I cannot wait to stomp on that damn lying, serpent’s head.”
Buzz: “Ok. I think we have enough now for our story. Thank both of you. We will check back soon to see how you are doing. If that is ok? Bye now.”
(Camera clicks off. Microphone too) Buzz: “Wow, Timmy. Amazing. Of course, the “I LOVE EATING THE APPLE AND LIVING IN A GODLESS WORLD” folks out there will ignore this whole story. I had no idea that Adam and Eve had returned to the Garden. Did not know that was possible…. you know Timmy, I am not an overly religious man. But did you pack us a lunch? Any chance you put an apple in it?”
Timmy: “I sure did. Want me to get it? It’s in the car.”
Buzz: “Sure. Also, do you have any duct tape in the car?”
Timmy: “Sure do boss. Real men go nowhere without duct tape. You can fix anything with Duct tape.”
Buzz: “Hard to believe I can-we can-fix the world with Duct tape. “
Timmy: “I don’t think we can fix the world with duct tape boss. But I am with Adam and Eve…I mean Mary…I think duct tape can fix us.”
Later that nite, the local T,V. station carried a teaser headline” TREE OF KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL VANDALIZED WITH 4 DUCT TAPED APPLES. FILM AT 11″
(Good folks-Easter is coming. Is it time for you to stop eating the apple and maybe duct tape it back onto the tree. For me and my house, we wrapped it 8 times lest the first seven fail. Hope you will join us. GOD BLESS!)
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